I used to post a lot more small business related posts, about the fears and stretching and growing and skill-learning that go along with being an entrepreneur or giving it all to one project or idea. It's not that I have less to say on the matter, it's just that the posts don't seem to flow on this subject the way they used to. I've found myself wondering this week why they are happening less often. Partly, I think it's because they're harder to write--they require quite a bit of reflection, and honesty, and often take their sweet time crystalizing into fully formed, shareable thoughts.
But really, I think the reason less state-of-mind posts about my business are happening is that there is so much more going on, so many more overwhelming new ways to think about my business that talking about just one seems impossible. As Dot & Lil grows, I find myself constantly scaling new walls, learning new skills, and confronting obstacles I didn't even know the names of until they smacked me in the face.
So what does it boil down to? I have learned so much this year so far. I have made actual, big mistakes for the first time since I started a business--some expensive ones, too. I have seen how slowly a change in direction can show results, and so have had to work on my patience skills. I have seen how small I am and Dot & Lil is in the big, big world--and will keep fighting hard to keep my strong belief that we can grow within it.
And mainly, I have worked very hard at making my peace with uncertainty. Because if there's anything at all I've learned this year so far, it's that the hardest part of being an entrepreneur is accepting that the work of building something truly worthwhile is never done, that things are always unsure and that, if you're doing it right, you should constantly be slightly terrified about what comes next.